What health reform means to me

After the landmark health care legislation passed by the President I've decided to make some big changes in my life.

1. I'm not planning on working too hard because I don't want to make enough money and be required to pay my share of the money into health care. I'm opting to do just enough to stay under the poverty threshold so I can get my stuff given to me by the country. Why work hard for health care when I can have it for free. Forget owning a home because the IRS can come after it when I refuse to buy my own health coverage. You can't take what I don't have, therefore I'll only working for money paid to me under the table.

2. Ending all physical activity and exercise of any sorts, and starting to drink a lot more. Why? Because insurance companies are no longer allowed to ban me for bad behavior, therefore I'm now burdening the rest of you with the financial responsibility of my poor decision making. Smoking? Why not, let's give that a go too. Fast food? Bring it on! Let's get those arteries clogged up because I can just walk right into any hospital and demand service, after all, I am entitled. I'll bet I can even jump ahead of the guy whose been working hard all his life. Why not, now I'm just as important as him.

3. Try and collect unemployment because it lasts like 2 years nowadays. Free money and free health care? Now that's the American dream.